Anyone that has read this blog or the blogs that I had before know a little bit about my struggles with my weight. I’ve delved into it in depth before in writing and on my podcast, Shrinking Shawn. I’ve been at a hiatus for a while now as I haven’t been able to get a good running start back into weight loss so far this year. I’ve been stagnate for all of 2016. I’ve lost a little weight but it hasn’t been very much.
My battles with my weight have very much mirrored my father. He didn’t grow up overweight like I did, but he put it on as an adult. He’s lost a significant amount of weight and put it back on several times in my lifetime, just as I have. I’ve seen him try every diet that you can think of. He was a vegetarian for a while. He did the Atkins diet. He rode a bike. He golfed. He took daily hikes.
He was a fireman for most of my childhood. He was forced to retire from the fire department about 15 years ago because he had developed COPD and an enlarged heart. A week ago we got the call that he was going to the ER. The doctor said that he had a heart attack.
It turned out that he had not actually had a heart attack, but he was very close to one. They did some tests and found that he had several arterial blockages. The artery that is known as “The Widowmaker” had a 98% blockage. He was months…maybe weeks…from a fatal event.
You know that my wife and I have had a very difficult year so far. I lost my mother to cancer back in April. Sherri lost and uncle and an aunt to cancer within the last two months. Her mother has also undergone breast cancer surgery in the last year. It’s been a lot to deal with. So, hearing this was difficult to swallow.
My dad and I haven’t always been on the best of terms. Things are good now, but they haven’t always been. But even in the times that they weren’t, I still care about the guy. No one wants to see their dad get sick and go into the hospital. You especially don’t want to see him have to have open heart surgery.
But that’s what happened yesterday. He had a quadruple bypass. We saw him last night right after it was over. He was still asleep but he was breathing well and his heart rate was normal. We went home with peace that he would be alright.
And I went home with resolve. I stood in the hospital and images of my mother lying in that hospice bed ran through my mind. I heard her voice in my head and that horrible afternoon that I watched her die replayed in my head.
Then I saw something else. I saw myself.
I saw where the road that I was on was heading.
My birthday was this past Monday. I shared a picture from last year’s birthday where my mom had made me cupcakes when I went to visit her. Another thing that she had given me was running clothes. Running clothes that don’t fit right now but I know that she gave them to me because she had been proud of the changes that I was making at the time.
I swear, Mom…I’ll get back to that.
Everyone continue to pray for my dad. He has a long road of recovery ahead of him.